Couples Playing Golf

couple posing in front of golf statue

COUPLES PLAYING GOLF TOGETHER

If you are going to play golf with your spouse make sure it is because you both want to. Couples playing golf together can enjoy quality time and a common passion that can enhance their relationship if they understand that there are some guidelines they can follow to ensure that they can do so for many years.

I DON’T WANT TO PLAY GOLF WITH MY WIFE.

couples playing golf
A day out with my wife on the golf course.

I hear some men say they rather not play golf with their wives as they prefer to spend that time with their buddies. Those men might look at their golf time as an escape from their everyday home life. For men who play several times a week that can equate to many hours away from home life, possibly time with their children as well.

Some men might feel like golf is the only thing they can enjoy that is “theirs” without having to share it with their spouses. For some, golf is a guy’s world and they do not want to include their spouses in that world. I can only say that I am glad my husband wants to play golf with me and include me in his “golf world”.

 

 

I WANT TO PLAY GOLF WITH MY HUSBAND TO HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON

If you want to learn to play golf just to find a common ground with your husband make sure it is also because you are interested in the actual game of golf. The worst thing is to try to learn one of the most difficult games when there is no genuine interest. You will find yourself frustrated and quit.

If you want to learn to play golf because you have taken an interest, want to learn a new skill, enjoy hearing about your husband’s rounds and enjoy the outdoors and want more time together than by all means go for it. That is IF he wants you to learn, knowing that you are interested in playing golf with him.

WHAT IF I LEARN AND HE WON’T PLAY WITH ME

Chances are that you might take lessons or your husband might decide to teach you to golf and then does not want to golf with you as he wants to continue to play golf with his friends. In that case, find a local ladies golf club or league and join it. Get out on the golf course when he is out with the guys and learn to love the game for yourself.

Perhaps when your husband sees you are as serious about golf as he is and hears about your rounds he might take an interest, if only to see how well you are playing. Once he has played with you he might realize you can be one of his best golf buddies. After all, who will laugh at all his jokes on the course, applaud his ever amazing shot, encourage him after bad shots, and totally brag about his awesome scores?

WHAT IF HE WANTS TO TEACH ME GOLF?

wife playing golf with husband
A day out on the golf course with my husband.

If your husband wants you to learn to play golf and you want to learn then let him teach you on the driving range. Definitely take on the opportunity to have something in common with him that you enjoy doing together or to learn a new skill because you enjoy learning new things and like to challenge yourself.

Don’t do it for the wrong reasons or you will end up frustrated, resenting him and not enjoying the game. Husbands, if you want your wife to learn to golf because you want to do something as a couple and enjoy the game for many years to come there are some things that you can do to ensure she will have a good time and hopefully stick with it.

Every so often when I am on the golf range I see husbands teaching their wives to swing a club in the hopes their wives will become good golfers. That is great because my husband did the same. However, if you are not careful with your approach it can become very frustrating for her and resentment can build up quick.

Women learn differently and they need to feel good in order to do good and find that they have fun in the process of learning a new skill. The last thing a woman wants to feel is “stupid” because she makes mistakes and you voice them loudly to her. Remember that making mistakes is part of learning and part of the game of golf. We all make them.

Husbands might feel a strong urge to “fix” their wives swings, putting, chipping but can make the wife feel criticized based on how she is approached.

SO DOES TEACHING YOUR SPOUSE PAY OFF AND IF SO WHAT IS THE BEST APPROACH?

There is an old adage that goes like this, “The best way to putt is to putt the way you putt best.” In other words, let your spouse find her way of doing things and allow her time to tweak and groove her swing or stroke.

There are a few other tips:

  • Be encouraging – focus on the positives and don’t constantly focus on what she is doing wrong.
  • Never raise your voice due to frustration. Remember it is not a big deal if she hits a bad shot – it is not the end of the world.
  • Give positive feedback on the good things in her swing not about how wrong she is swinging the club. Don’t make it personal.
  • Value your relationship over being right – your wife can end up becoming your go-to golf buddy!

THAT’S ALL GOOD ON THE RANGE BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE GET OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE CAN BE A MAKE IT OR BREAK IT EXPERIENCE.

When couples play golf together it is important that there is a mutual level of respect regardless of how long each of you has played. Each should play their own way, without the burden of constant unsolicited criticizing or advice. Enjoy your time out on the golf course by focusing on your surroundings, the sound of nature and just think about where you are aiming your shot, ball placement, and just swing.

florida sand cranes
Enjoy nature on the golf course. Here are some Florida sand cranes. (mama and baby)

Definitely cheer her on when she hits great shots and vice versa.  ladies, just because your husband plays well ALL the time does not mean he doesn’t enjoy getting praised and showing off for you!

Add some fun to your round by including some type of game or contests with incentives. Maybe if she wins she gets to buy you a beer. If he wins he gets his favorite meal or whatever fun incentive you can both come up with. Use your imagination and have fun with that.

My husband and I like to play match play and we have fun trying to win each hole. That equates to 18 chances to win a hole so it gets quite competitive but fun. Just make sure to stay positive and have fun!

ULTIMATELY, PLAYING GOLF WITH YOUR SPOUSE CAN BE A LOT OF FUN!

Husbands can get serious when they play competitively with the guys but when you play with your spouse just relax and shrug off bad shots, keep smiling. The last thing you want her to experience is you throwing a tantrum and seeing you get angry the entire round. Who enjoys playing with an angry person for 3-4 hours. Besides, why would you pay money to spend all that time angry? You might as well stay home and be angry for free.

angry golfer cartoon
Don’t be like this angry golfer cartoon. Smile and have fun!

If anything, think about the fact that you are doing something you love away from work or any other chores or things that you have to handle later on. If you go out expecting to be perfect and get angry you don’t play perfect just remind yourself that exceptional golfers are NOT the norm. Even professional golfers have bad rounds.

So go out and play nice on the course with your spouse because, after all, the benefits are many:

  • You get to talk for hours about anything without the TV on or phone calls or any other distractions.
  • If you hit bad shots you get frustrated at yourselves together.
  • If you hit good shots, you cheer each other on.
  • Consider each golf round as a “date” with your favorite golf buddy.
  • You experience togetherness and a “friendship” by sharing a passion for a common hobby or sport.
  • Golf can bring you together because you get to see strengths and weaknesses and learn to love that in each other.

Most importantly, if you feel the need to “fix” her after she has learned enough to play with you, get her lessons or get her resources like videos, books, etc. In fact, one of my recommendations is to get her clubs she can feel confident with such as the Cobra Baffler woods.

I purchased the 3 and the 5 woods and find them the easiest woods to get up in the air.

This way you can focus on the fun you both can have and the memories over the years you will build.

“When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit.”  – Unknown

 

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13 Comments

  1. Well I personally don’t like golf. I would play miniature gold but real golf takes so much patience. Whenever you mess up you get punished so much because you have to go all the way over just to grab the ball. I also don’t believe that golf (Along with anything) should be used as an escape. If he really loves you then he would want to escape with you, not escape from you. You should be included in his world.

    • Hey Matt,
      You’re right, golf is a very difficult game, one that is mastered by very few and you sure don’t reap many rewards from a bad shot, which discourages many new golfers.
      Eventually you experience that “AH HAW” moment, and when you do the game begins to become a passion., and we have enjoyed the passion for the the game and the friendships that we have gained through that.

      Stay tuned here as we will share lots of our experiences of how we became great golf partners along the way.

  2. It would be nice to have a spouse who enjoyed the same sports as you, then you could enjoy them together and have fun together but I agree that it is important not to push it 🙂 Only do it is your truly enjoy it! My dad often likes to show my mum how to do things better then she is already doing them. This frustrates her a lot! He needs to read this article 🙂

    • Emma, I agree that pushing is not going to get you there. I ended up liking it because I was “exposed” to his world of golf by going out with him and driving the golf cart, opening the beer and being the one who took care of the flagstick when they were putting. This was while on a vacation in a golf resort. It intrigued me and I ended up wanting to give it a try. He was willing to teach me and I got hooked. That does not always happen and it is ok. Find something else to do together but if it ends up being golf then by all means have fun doing it!

  3. I just have to figure out how to get my wife to either the driving range or the golf course. I have been trying for over 13 years. At his point I don’t think its going to happen. She just doesn’t think it will be fun. How do I convince her otherwise?

    • Hi Josh,

      In my case, my wife and I went on a vacation to a golf resort, she had never held a golf club in her hand or been on a golf course for that matter. I let her drive the cart and watch. The resort put us with another couple so it wasn’t the right time for her to try to hit any shots. However, she did see how the game was played and enjoyed being on the green with us to pull the flag etc…After we completed the round the driving range was right there and she asked if she could try…which she did.. she just hit my driver a few times and she didn’t do too bad

      . This is a girl who has never played any organized sport in her life and was more concerned about breaking a nail than making solid contact.

      What we found out though is that she could do this and we were both excited to get home to work on it.

      I tried to not push it, would take her to the course late afternoon or early evening, started her off with a driver, a hybrid club, a 7 iron and a putter.

      Before we began I told her that in some situations I may tell her pick up and place her ball on the green and putt out. Try to be completely encouraging and never critical or impatient. That’s their big fear.

      My wife really likes to go on mini vacations to play golf…we would go about 3 times a year to Lake Placid N.Y. and play the courses there…we would always play non-prime time…no pressure on her that way.

      Other than that, she taught herself a lot by reading and watching peoples swings and emulating them.

      She also learned a lot from a 12 week ladies beginner golf group lesson for about $120.00.

      Now, six years later, she shoots mid 80’s to 90 on our long course from the ladies tees.

      If you haven’t yet, read my posts on pace, or better still read it with your wife, it’s a confidence builder and will help her enjoy the game more, with you, during the learning process.

      Best of Luck!

    • Good question. I can only share how I learned to love a game I used to say was boring and vowed never to waste my time on. It just so happens we traveled to Punta Cana on a week vacation and we stayed at a golf resort. I figured I would just drive the golf cart, open the beer and tend the flag on the greens while my husband played golf. The more I watched, the more I got intrigued by the game and thought “I can do this”. My husband asked me if I wanted to try to swing the driver. I had never held a golf club in my life. I was in flip flops to top it off. I swung and hit the ball down the middle in the air a decent distance. My husband said I had a natural swing. That was it. I wanted to try again when we got back home. I was hooked. Not to say I did not want to quit every few rounds but if you read the post http://mentalgolfsolutions.com/take-pressure-off-new-golfers/ you will see how he explains helping me to hang in there. Hope that helps!

  4. My husband and I have never actually played golf together… and I am the one who loves the game! 🙂 He says he’s not much of a golfer, although truth be told I think he’s good at everything he tries! I hope to convert him in the future when we have a) the time to golf — we have 2 toddlers, enough said, b) the funds to get into the habit (although if you love something, you can usually budget it in somehow, and c) a healed back for me — you can definitely do some damage if you do an incorrect swing if your back is already wonky, believe me.
    Reading your article made me hope that the day we CAN get out there on a beautiful course together isn’t too far in the future!

    • Marlaine, glad to hear you love the game as well! I agree that our husbands expect way more of themselves and just need us to remind them to relax and have fun while on the golf course. With toddlers I sure can see how time is limited at this time in your life. Eventually you will find the time as the children get older. Some families golf together once the children get older. That can be a great family time together without all the technical gadgets that keep our teens distracted…haha. I do not know how it is where you live but some cities have county owned courses that are cheaper although not as nice as the private courses but it helps keep the cost down. 2 for 1 coupons are something we have taken advantage of. If you want to get away 2-3 days, you can find great When it comes to your back, indeed swinging correctly will reduce injuries. I too injured my back years ago and have kept golfing. I just make sure I found the swing that works for me without causing further pain. I just won’t let it stop me from golfing.
      I am sure that in time you will a)find the time; b)find affordable options c) find a swing that won’t result in back issues and most of all that you both find enjoyable together!

  5. Hi! Really great website. It’s really important for a relationship to do things together and the golf could be the solution. Thanks for the fantastic overview.
    Best wishes
    Andrew

    • Thank you for your feedback. finding something in common is a great way to spend time as a couple doing something together. We found golf and for those who also share the golf game as a couple I hope they have the same positive experience we have had.

  6. My wife and I have played golf together for 20 years now. I would advise to take your wife to a golf instructor first. I think it is probably the best thing I have done for her since she told me she wanted to play golf. You cannot teach your wife to play golf like you do, she has to learn to play like she does. A golf instructor is more equipped to teach her to find her own swing. My wife hit the ball straight every time from the start. She had never held a club or hit a ball not once. The Pro kept coming to the side of the range I was on telling me I had to see her swing, she was 46 and hooked, she complained that her shots did not go real high. I told to go ask anyone on the range if they would trade height for straight every shot. The last 20 years have been wonderful and we have played golf all over the country as every trip we take must include golf as my wife insists. My tv is always on the Golf Channel or a tournament and we play every weekend it doesn’t rain.

    • Thank you for posting that. I sure can relate to her as I too came to golf late in life and got hooked right away. While Larry did teach me golf initially, I have learned to find my own swing and game and now we can enjoy a great round of golf together. I personally am happy he taught me things like pace, etiquette, rules and all about the different types of clubs and their use. Funny because our vacations or mini getaways usually include golf. Our TV is also on the Golf Channel more often than not and we enjoy watching tournaments. Since we work full time we too play every weekend, weather permitting. Glad to hear of other couples that love golf as much as we do. Our apologies for the delay in response but we have been in the middle of selling a home, purchasing another and the whole mess of moving. But finally we are settled in and back to what I love to do here. Have a great 4th of July weekend!

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