COUPLES PLAYING GOLF TOGETHER
If you are going to play golf with your spouse make sure it is because you both want to. Couples playing golf together can enjoy quality time and a common passion that can enhance their relationship if they understand that there are some guidelines they can follow to ensure that they can do so for many years.
I DON’T WANT TO PLAY GOLF WITH MY WIFE.
I hear some men say they rather not play golf with their wives as they prefer to spend that time with their buddies. Those men might look at their golf time as an escape from their everyday home life. For men who play several times a week that can equate to many hours away from home life, possibly time with their children as well.
Some men might feel like golf is the only thing they can enjoy that is “theirs” without having to share it with their spouses. For some, golf is a guy’s world and they do not want to include their spouses in that world. I can only say that I am glad my husband wants to play golf with me and include me in his “golf world”.
I WANT TO PLAY GOLF WITH MY HUSBAND TO HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON
If you want to learn to play golf just to find a common ground with your husband make sure it is also because you are interested in the actual game of golf. The worst thing is to try to learn one of the most difficult games when there is no genuine interest. You will find yourself frustrated and quit.
If you want to learn to play golf because you have taken an interest, want to learn a new skill, enjoy hearing about your husband’s rounds and enjoy the outdoors, and want more time together than by all means go for it. That is IF he wants you to learn, knowing that you are interested in playing golf with him.
WHAT IF I LEARN AND HE WON’T PLAY WITH ME
Chances are that you might take lessons or your husband might decide to teach you to golf and then does not want to golf with you as he wants to continue to play golf with his friends. In that case, find a local ladies’ golf club or league and join it. Get out on the golf course when he is out with the guys and learn to love the game for yourself.
Perhaps when your husband sees you are as serious about golf as he is and hears about your rounds he might take an interest, if only to see how well you are playing. Once he has played with you he might realize you can be one of his best golf buddies. After all, who will laugh at all his jokes on the course, applaud his ever amazing shot, encourage him after bad shots, and totally brag about his awesome scores?
WHAT IF HE WANTS TO TEACH ME GOLF?
If your husband wants you to learn to play golf and you want to learn then let him teach you at the driving range. Definitely take on the opportunity to have something in common with him that you enjoy doing together or to learn a new skill because you enjoy learning new things and like to challenge yourself.
Don’t do it for the wrong reasons or you will end up frustrated, resenting him, and not enjoying the game. Husbands, if you want your wife to learn to golf because you want to do something as a couple and enjoy the game for many years to come there are some things that you can do to ensure she will have a good time and hopefully stick with it.
Every so often when I am on the golf range I see husbands teaching their wives to swing a club in the hopes their wives will become good golfers. That is great because my husband did the same. However, if you are not careful with your approach it can become very frustrating for her and resentment can build up quickly.
Women learn differently and they need to feel good in order to do good and find that they have fun in the process of learning a new skill. The last thing a woman wants to feel is “stupid” because she makes mistakes and you voice them loudly to her. Remember that making mistakes is part of learning and part of the game of golf. We all make them.
Husbands might feel a strong urge to “fix” their wives swings, putting, chipping but can make the wife feel criticized based on how she is approached.
SO DOES TEACHING YOUR SPOUSE PAY OFF AND IF SO WHAT IS THE BEST APPROACH?
There is an old adage that goes like this, “The best way to putt is to putt the way you putt best.” In other words, let your spouse find her way of doing things and allow her time to tweak and groove her swing or stroke.
There are a few other tips:
- Be encouraging – focus on the positives and don’t constantly focus on what she is doing wrong.
- Never raise your voice due to frustration. Remember it is not a big deal if she hits a bad shot – it is not the end of the world.
- Give positive feedback on the good things in her swing not about how wrong she is swinging the club. Don’t make it personal.
- Value your relationship over being right – your wife can end up becoming your go-to golf buddy!
- Teach pace so that she will not feel the pressure from other golfers.
THAT’S ALL GOOD ON THE RANGE BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE GET OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE CAN BE A MAKE IT OR BREAK IT EXPERIENCE.
When couples play golf together it is important that there is a mutual level of respect regardless of how long each of you has played. Each should play their own way, without the burden of constant unsolicited criticizing or advice. Enjoy your time out on the golf course by focusing on your surroundings, the sound of nature, and just think about where you are aiming your shot, ball placement, and just swing.
Definitely cheer her on when she hits great shots and vice versa. ladies, just because your husband plays well ALL the time does not mean he doesn’t enjoy getting praised and showing off for you!
Add some fun to your round by including some type of game or contests with incentives. Maybe if she wins she gets to buy you a beer. If he wins he gets his favorite meal or whatever fun incentive you can both come up with. Use your imagination and have fun with that.
My husband and I like to play match play and we have fun trying to win each hole. That equates to 18 chances to win a hole so it gets quite competitive but fun. Just make sure to stay positive and have fun!
ULTIMATELY, PLAYING GOLF WITH YOUR SPOUSE CAN BE A LOT OF FUN!
Husbands can get serious when they play competitively with the guys but when you play with your spouse just relax and shrug off bad shots, keep smiling. The last thing you want her to experience is you throwing a tantrum and seeing you get angry the entire round. Who enjoys playing with an angry person for 3-4 hours. Besides, why would you pay money to spend all that time angry? You might as well stay home and be angry for free.
If anything, think about the fact that you are doing something you love away from work or any other chores or things that you have to handle later on. If you go out expecting to be perfect and get angry you don’t play perfectly just remind yourself that exceptional golfers are NOT the norm. Even professional golfers have bad rounds.
So go out and play nice on the course with your spouse because, after all, the benefits are many:
- You get to talk for hours about anything without the TV on or phone calls or any other distractions.
- If you hit bad shots you get frustrated at yourselves together.
- If you hit good shots, you cheer each other on.
- Consider each golf round as a “date” with your favorite golf buddy.
- You experience togetherness and a “friendship” by sharing a passion for a common hobby or sport.
- Golf can bring you together because you get to see strengths and weaknesses and learn to love that in each other.
Most importantly, if you feel the need to “fix” her after she has learned enough to play with you, get her lessons, or get her resources like videos, books, etc. In fact, one of my recommendations is to get her clubs she can feel confident with such as the Cobra Baffler woods.
I purchased the 3 and the 5 woods and find them the easiest woods to get up in the air.
This way you can focus on the fun you both can have and the memories over the years you will build.
“When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit.” – Unknown